Translating Washington Speech

By Eric on January 22, 2008

Dana Milbank runs a pretty good column over at the Washington Post called Washington Sketch–one of my recent favorites is on the Congressional hearings on lead in Chinese toys. Today, he’s left his usual venue to head over to the Atlantic, where he’s put together a snarky little phrasebook for visitors to that mosquito-infested swamp on the Potomac called Washington, D.C. Some sample translations:

 You are either with us or against us.
You are against us.

We identified weapons of mass destruction–related program activities.
We could not find any weapons of mass destruction.

The president has always said …
The president is announcing a new position.

This should not be a political issue.
My party has a winning political issue.

It’s time to stop playing politics.
The other party has a winning political issue.

The American people don’t want open-ended fishing expeditions.
A member of my party is being investigated for wrongdoing.

Congress must fulfill its constitutional oversight obligation.
A member of the other party is being investigated for wrongdoing.

Check out the rest.

Tags: Dana Milbank, snark, Washington D.C.

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