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Blogs Eric Reads
Bush for Senate, and more
- John Cole helps Republicans understand why Obama won. Hint: it’s because of all the things Republicans screwed up. (Balloon Juice)
- Jeb Bush, who has kept a pretty low profile after leaving office as his brother destroyed the world over the past few years, is thinking about running for Senate to replace retiring Republican Mel Martinez. The former governor is still pretty popular, but I can’t imagine most people will want to put “Bush for Senate” stickers on their cars. (Politico)
- The Vatican has announced that it opposes a UN resolution that would encourage nations to decriminalize homosexuality. They use the Christian bigot stock answer that the resolution would prevent the Church from opposing same-sex marriage, but, of course, the resolution has nothing to do with gay marriage but rather condemns countries that imprison or kill homosexuals. “Sanctity of life” is apparently for heteros only. (Times of London)
- Here’s your health tip of the day: a Missouri man died of rabies this weekend, the state’s first rabies death since 1959, after being bitten by an infected animal and not seeking proper medical attention. If you get bitten by any wild animal, whether or not it appears rabid, make sure to check with a doctor. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)
Stop the Circular Firing Squad
Speaking for me only, it has not even been a week since he won the office, he has appointed approximately two people to his staff (Emanuel and Gibbs), has just barely gotten change.gov off the ground, and has made no cabinet appointments. We are months away from him being sworn in. He has not even settled on a school for his kids, and the left-wing circular firing squad is already in “Ready! Fire! Aim” mode.
Just please shut the fuck up until he actually does something you disagree with, you WATB. Hillary Clinton wouldn’t have been any better. We are at the end of an eight year nightmare and you loudmouth morons are cutting off Obama at the knees before he even sets foot in the damned White House as President. Wankers.
If there’s one thing Democrats are good at, it’s shooting ourselves in the foot. If we could at least wait until Obama is inaugarated, though, that would be really nice.
Media Idiocy
John Cole on the group of hacks and morons otherwise known as the American media establishment:
I guess Reverend Wright hasn’t said something stupid today. Seriously, I’ve seen a lot of stupid shit in CNN’s “Breaking News” header, but this really did it for me.
People are dying in Iraq. You need a credit check to buy gas. Your home belongs to the bank now. But stop the fucking presses, ‘cause there’s a pelican in a freakin’ tree!
I guess they need something to keep themselves busy when they aren’t penning alliterative headlines about lesbians.
Freedom (of Speech) Isn’t Free
Dear President Bush,
As we loyal Americans all know, the president’s wartime powers under the Constitution gives the president the authority to do anything he feels necessary, even if it would otherwise be unconstitutional. There are some people in this country who, despite the fact that 9/11 changed everything, don’t realize that their hateful America-hating endangers our troops and strengthens the al Qaeda-Iran alliance. Therefore, I hope that you will use your unlimited constitutional wartime to authority to to rescind the following traitors’ right to freedom of speech:
- Markos Moulitsas Zúniga and the editors of DailyKos.com: they want more Americans to die by preventing you from using FISA to spy on us.
- Writers of Sadly, No!: they regularly harass loyal Republicans and disrespect wholesome Christian music; possible al Qaeda sleeper cell.
- John Cole: committed treason by leaving Republican party and is occasionally proud of having done so.
- Center for American Progress: publishers of ThinkProgress, a compilation of America-hatred.
- Washington Nationals fans: disrespected you during a war.
- Keith Olbermann: called you the worst person in the world.
- Crooks and Liars: thinks the terrorists you’re keeping at Gitmo are innocent (with a name like that, they should really write about themselves).
- AmericaBlog: trying to get your loyal supporters kicked out of Congress; takes the name of America in vain.
Freedom isn’t free, not even freedom of speech. I hope you will take appropriate action against these haters.
Patriotically yours,
CrazyDrumGuy
Reflections on Five Years in Iraq
Yes, it’s been five long years since we invaded Iraq and, as Supreme Warlord Bush is frequently reminding us, the mission was a success. In honor of this fifth year of the Glorious Revolution, the New York Times published nine op-eds on the invasion. The inimitable John Cole (I told you he was a genius) has saved you the trouble of wading through some of the shit by shortening each one to just a sentence.
Paul Bremer: “We fucked up, but it wasn’t my fault and I think Bush kinda fixed things last year.”
Richard Perle- “Things went great until those pussies at the State Department fucked up trying to fix what we bombed.”
Anne-Marie Slaugher: “This undertaking was fucked from the beginning.”
Kenneth M. Pollack- “If you think we are fucked right now, wait until you see what happens if we try to leave.”
Danielle Pletka- “The anti-war left was right about everything, but I still fucking hate them and will use this column to trash them.”
Nathaniel Flick- “Our fuck-ups can all be traced back to the fear we would be slimed.”
Major General Paul D. Eaton- “The sycophantic Republican Congress has fucked the military for a long time coming.”
Fred Kagan- “I love my fucking pompoms, and am currently applying for the job of Chief Assistant Fluffer for General Petraeus.”
Anthony Cordesman- “Bush/Cheney- Worst fucking administration EVAH.”
Scary as it may seem, Cole is astoundingly accurate.