Archive for posts ‘ABC News’

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Horrible Liberal Media Dares to Correct Wingnut Lies

This can only go poorly for ABC News:

Conservative activists, who organized a march on the U.S. Capitol today in protest of the Obama administration’s health care agenda and government spending, erroneously attributed reports on the size of the crowds to ABC News.

Matt Kibbe, president of FreedomWorks, the group that organized the event, said on stage at the rally that ABC News was reporting that 1 million to 1.5 million people were in attendance.

At no time did ABC News, or its affiliates, report a number anywhere near as large. ABCNews.com reported an approximate figure of 60,000 to 70,000 protesters, attributed to the Washington, D.C., fire department. In its reports, ABC News Radio described the crowd as “tens of thousands.”

Who will be the first to say that the fact that they won’t let the teabaggers keep lying only proves that ABC is part of Obama’s socialist agenda?

9/13/09 1:12 am | Comments disabled. | Permalink | Tags: , , ,

Nation Anxiously Awaits Obama’s Beer Choice

Forget healthcare, forget the economy. Henry Louis Gates Jr. and Sgt. James Crowley are coming to have a beer with the president and this is important political news:

Does the president choose a lager for Thursday’s gathering? A porter? Maybe a wheat beer? Does he pick something light to help the men with the Washington, D.C., summer heat?

Whatever the president picks, it is likely to be closely watched and could even help propel a lesser-known beer into the mainstream.

Yes, brewers, your product could be the Official Beer of Hope and Change, when President Obama holds his big meeting to end racism forever!

But lest you think this particular piece of investigative journalism is purely speculative, here are some expert opinions from ABC political pundits:

“In the summertime people want something maybe just a little bit lighter, more refreshing. They’re not going to go for a heavier stout or nut brown,” said Steen Sawyer, general manager of John Harvard’s Brew House a few steps away from Harvard’s campus in Cambridge.

Donna Brazile, an ABC News political consultant, suggested Boston-brewed Sam Adams. The beer is sold everywhere from police bars to academic haunts.

“Honestly, I am a wine drinker and find common ground with beer could be tough,” Brazile added. “Who knows, the two might decide to have ice tea. It’s hot outside.”

Ice tea? Ice tea?!? What kind of socialist is this “Donna Brazile” lady, anyway? Or maybe she’s talking about getting some m’fing ice tea, in the interest of race relations.

If you’d like to read more of this 4-page journalistic spectacle, you can do it yourself.

7/28/09 9:08 am | Comments disabled. | Permalink | Tags: , , , ,

Mark Sanford Returns from Mysterious South American “Hike”

  • So it turns out that bonafide crazy person Gov. Mark Sanford was in fact not in Appalachia as his staff told the press but was, in fact, in Argentina! Appalachia, Argentina, they both start and end with “a” so you can forgive a guy for not knowing which one’s which, right? Anyway, Sanford is doing a presser soon to discuss his “exotic” and totally unannounced adventures. (The State)
  • Just like on every other issue that could possibly be relevant to the American public, Americans trust Barack Obama more than Republicans on “handling the threat of terrorism.” And by a pretty sizable margin too! That’s probably because the terrorists are all his buddies from Muslin school, amirite? (The Plum Line)
  • The city of Mansfield, TX, was going to give that uppity Negro a piece of their minds by sending back his socialism money! But then they changed their minds because, um, it turns out they actually need the money. (Fort Worth Star-Telegram)
  • Your ABC television network has the audacity to put Barack Obama, the President of the United States of America, on television. Just like that! Without even seeing his birth certificate, or anything. This has made Republicans sad and whiny all over the YouTubes. In response, ABC News President David Westin says Republicans can suck it, the end. (ABC News)
  • Pretty soon, it looks like Oregonians (Oregonos?) will be able to register to vote online. Hooray for increased participation in democracy! Shockingly, Republicans do not like this, because then all the Mexicans will get fake driver’s licenses and vote for Swine Flu, or something. (The Oregonian)

6/24/09 11:08 am | Comments disabled. | Permalink | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Christian Values: School Founder Offers Diploma for Sex

Ah, there’s nothing like the smell of hypocrisy in the morning. A Houston TV station on Thursday exposed LaVern Jordan, founder of a local Christian school, offering to waive a student’s enrollment fees if the mother will agree to have sex with him.

Jordan: “For the uh, enrollment fee and stuff like that, maybe you and I can do something, you think?”

Mother: “Yeah, what, I mean what, what, you gonna wipe out all the fees?”

Jordan: “All the enrollment fees.”

Mother: “All the enrollment fees?”

Jordan: “Three hundred dollars.”

Mother: “So you gonna wipe everything if me and you get together?”

Jordan: “The enrollment fee, yeah.”

Mother: “Ok.”

Jordan: “If you and I get together.”

Mother: “What you mean? I mean, what?

Jordan: “Excuse me and I don’t mean to be so blunt but I am talking about f—— you.”

Mother: “You talking about what?”

Jordan: “F—— you.”
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Jordan: “For the $300 I would expect maybe we could get together several times, you think?”

Mother: “Several times, whatcha mean several times?”

Jordan: “Well I don’t know, you might like whatcha getting.”

The school, which is now run by Jordan’s wife, responded in the appropriate Christian fashion: forgiving Jordan and demanding an apology from the network and the mother.

In regards to the “story” that aired on 4/16- 4/17 of 2008 on Channel 13, we would like to begin by informing you that the “story” was not told in its’ entirety, as no one requested an interview with Mrs. Jordan, nor did Channel 13 accept her offer for one.

Here’s the email that reporter Wayne Dolcefino sent to the school three days before the story aired requesting an interview from Mrs. Jordan. Okay, back to the ridiculous:

The Parkway Christian School,Inc. staff wants to remind you that we are all sinners saved by Grace, and we have forgiven Mr. Jordan for his wrong action.
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[the school then quotes John 8:7, which includes the line: "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her."] What do you think Jesus was writing in the sand? Was it the names of all the men that had been with the woman, or a list of all of their sins? Either way, it should help us all to realize that we are all guilty of sin and only God can be the judge of us.

Yes, everyone’s guilty. The school released another statement the next day, reiterating the claim that nobody asked them for an interview, but now they’ve been advised by their lawyers not to grant any interviews even if they do ask. Then, the real fun starts:

Furthermore, we would like to add that the woman in question did not handle the situation properly. Had she called to inform me of this incident, the matter would have been handled promptly and properly
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Channel 13 and the woman in question owe Parkway Christian School, Inc. a public apology for the unjust manner in which the incident was handled. My family, students, and school should not have to suffer the blame for something that we did not know was happening.

Yes, how dare that woman not call the wife of the man who propositioned her in his truck! I’m sure Mrs. Jordan would have dealt with the matter immediately and not accused the mother of slander or ignorance. People always act in a reasonable, rational way when you accuse their husbands of cheating on them by extorting sex from poor women. And how dare she expose the man for being such a pervert! After all, nobody’s perfect. The Christian thing to do would have been to politely thank him for his generous offer, get out of the truck, and pretend that she hadn’t just been treated like a whore.

Now, I don’t have any problem with Christianity because the vast majority of Christians intelligent, reasonable people. The problem is when the really self-righteous ones–the ones who try to impose their beliefs on everybody else–become embroiled in all sorts of sex scandals and then abuse their religion’s concept of forgiveness to get themselves off the hook. By Monday, I’m sure we’ll hear that Jordan has prayed hard all weekend and come to the decision that God has forgiven him and that we should all just forget that the whole thing ever happened. And when we do, someone needs to be there to call him on the hypocrisy.

(h/t Pam)

4/19/08 11:48 am | Comment (1) | Permalink | Tags: , , , , , ,

Jon Stewart Destroys ABC

So Wednesday night’s debate sucked. It sucked a lot. In fact the only people who liked the debate, other than ABC, were conservative columnist David Brooks and HotAir.com, a right-wing website run by stalker-of-sick-children Michelle Malkin.

Jon Stewart, meanwhile, ripped ABC a new one:

The first hour of last night’s debate was a 60 minute master class in questions that elevate out-of-context remarks and trivial, insipid miscues into subjects of natural discourse…which is my job! Stop doing my job! That’s what I’m here for! I’m the silly man!

Videos follow. Read more…

4/18/08 10:53 am | Comment (1) | Permalink | Tags: , , ,

Colbert and the Candidates

In what was certainly the most important campaign appearance for each of them, both Democratic presidential candidates (as well as John Edwards) graced the Colbert Report with their presence. Hillary fixed some technical difficulties, Edwards announced what he needs before he can make an endorsement, and Obama puts manufactured political distractions on notice.

Videos below.

Read more…

4/18/08 10:34 am | Comments disabled. | Permalink | Tags: , , , , , ,

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