- Iran now has the capability to send “a mouse, several turtles and worms” into space. Oh God! WHO WILL SAVE US FROM THE IRANIAN SPACE WORM?!?!? (Voice of America)
- Oh look, not torturing the underpants bomber has produced meaningful results. It’s almost like we have a functioning criminal justice system in this country! (NYT)
- Adobe and Apple are going to war with each other because of Steve Jobs’ famed new women’s hygiene product, the iPad. (ZDNet)
- Ugh, apparently al-Qaeda is not done attacking us even though the whole underpants bomb thing didn’t work. (WSJ)
- The Democratic and Republican primaries for Illinois governor are both too close to call probably because of “Chicago-style politics” or something. (Chicago Tribune)
Archive for posts ‘Apple’
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Rahm Emanuel Dropped in Dunk Tank by F-22s
- At yesterday’s White House luau, a tradition of Hawaii, the President’s “place of birth,” Sasha Obama and her dad both dunked Rahm Fucking Emanuel, the Fucking Chief of Staff to the President of the United Fucking States in a giant water-filled dunk tank. Ha! Members of your White House Press Corps also dunked Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, for his tardiness. (Washington Post/CNN)
- F-22s, America’s favorite figher jet! The President doesn’t want them, the Secretary of Defense doesn’t want them, but by God Congress is going to build them anyway because who doesn’t want more warplanes, hmm? And then we will probably sell them to Japan, or something. (The Hill)
- Those lamers at Apple have removed a porn application from the iPhone App store even though porn is the whole purpose of the iPhone and the internet in general. Boo, Apple! (TechCrunch)
- How sad for teary-eyed romantic Mark Sanford. Sixty percent of South Carolinians say he should resign from office. On the plus side, now he can go back to Argentina without causing the people of South Carolina to worry about silly things, like where in the hell their governor has gotten to. (CQPolitics)
- According to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri “Hussein” al-Maliki, we are finally winning in Iraq!… because we are leaving. (New York Times)
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