Archive for posts ‘iPhone’

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Rahm Emanuel Dropped in Dunk Tank by F-22s

The President and Sasha Obama in traditional Muslim, er, I mean... Hawaiian garb.

  • At yesterday’s White House luau, a tradition of Hawaii, the President’s “place of birth,” Sasha Obama and her dad both dunked Rahm Fucking Emanuel, the Fucking Chief of Staff to the President of the United Fucking States in a giant water-filled dunk tank. Ha! Members of your White House Press Corps also dunked Press Secretary Robert Gibbs, for his tardiness. (Washington Post/CNN)
  • F-22s, America’s favorite figher jet! The President doesn’t want them, the Secretary of Defense doesn’t want them, but by God Congress is going to build them anyway because who doesn’t want more warplanes, hmm? And then we will probably sell them to Japan, or something. (The Hill)
  • Those lamers at Apple have removed a porn application from the iPhone App store even though porn is the whole purpose of the iPhone and the internet in general. Boo, Apple! (TechCrunch)
  • How sad for teary-eyed romantic Mark Sanford. Sixty percent of South Carolinians say he should resign from office. On the plus side, now he can go back to Argentina without causing the people of South Carolina to worry about silly things, like where in the hell their governor has gotten to. (CQPolitics)
  • According to Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri “Hussein” al-Maliki, we are finally winning in Iraq!… because we are leaving. (New York Times)

6/26/09 7:10 am | Comments disabled. | Permalink | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tuesday Early Morning Update

Don’t ask why I’m awake…

  • The world’s favorite shoe-throwing journalist is in Iraqi judicial custody, which “ordinarily signals the start of criminal proceedings.” Ummmm ordinarily? That sounds a little ominous, especially since the guy is the newest Iraqi national hero. (Associated Press)
  • The Illinois House voted unanimously to appoint a special committee that will start the process of impeaching Blago. Hooray for bipartisanship! (ABC 7 Chicago)
  • Your President-Elect has chosen Colorado Sen. Ken Salazar to be the next Secretary of the Interior. Okay okay, I’m sure Salazar will be great at the job but HEY BARACK IT WOULD BE NICE TO STILL HAVE SOME SENATORS LEFT WHEN YOU’RE DONE PICKING YOUR CABINET KAYTHANKS! (Los Angeles Times)
  • Microsoft has released an iPhone graphics application. Yeah, you read that right. Microsoft thinks people all rushed out to buy iPhones because they just wanted something shinier to run Microsoft shit on. Hilariously and unsurprisingly, the app is really buggy. (InternetNews)

12/16/08 7:23 am | Comments disabled. | Permalink | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Tancredo Retiring, and more

  • Congressman Tom Tancredo (R-CO) who was among the many Republicans to fail at running for president this year, is retiring. He regrets that he was best known for hating Mexicans, I guess because he hates lots of people. (International Herald Tribune)
  • The era of the newspaper is ending. The Tribune Company, which owns the Chicago Tribune, LA Times, Baltimore Sun, and other papers, is filing for bankruptcy. The other newspapers will do their best to hide their glee. (Wall Street Journal)
  • Wal-Mart is planning to sell the new Apple iPhone for only $197, two whole dollars cheaper than what other stores are charging. Clearly they learned nothing from last week’s customer stampede which killed one of their employees. (PC World)
  • The Supreme Court will not hear a case brought by a bunch of crazy people who still think Barack Obama is some kind of Afro-Arab Muslim, or something, and not an American. The realitiy-based world thanks them for their sanity. (MSNBC)

12/8/08 8:52 am | Comment (1) | Permalink | Tags: , , , ,

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