So The President had a health care town hall in Wisconsin where he probably did some of that fancy speechifyin’ that tricked us into electing him in the first place, and anyway some guy brought his ten year-old daughter with him but was worried she would get in trouble for missing school. This girl’s name was “Kennedy” which The President kinda liked even though it is a strange first name, so he wrote her a note to get out of school.
To Kennedy’s teacher,
Please excuse Kennedy’s absence … She’s with me.
Barack Obama
So therefore under Obamasocialism, the government gets to decide whether or not American kids go to school, and their parents can all suck it. Why does Barack Obama hate our children?
It’s Sunday night or Monday morning, depending on what time zone you’re in. What did you miss while you were sleeping?
Remember that time when everyone said nominating a black guy was a mistake because Hispanics would never vote for him? Or when people said putting money into Republican strongholds like Virginia and North Carolina was a waste of resources? jdawg1077 takes us back to all the things the pundits got wrong about the 2008 elections. (DailyKos)
And while I’m over at DKos, JeffLieber posts his conversation with his six year-old daughter about California’s Prop 8. Turns out gay marriage really is hard to explain to a child, when it’s banned. (DailyKos)
Meanwhile, for those who are still dealing with how Prop 8 affects them, Melissa Etheridge has a suggestion: if the state of California isn’t going to treat her like a first-class citizen, she’s not paying her first-class taxes. Doesn’t sounds like a bad idea to me. (The Daily Beast)
So remember all that “change” stuff that Barack Obama’s been talking about for the past couple years? Well, it’s finally coming and… let’s just say you might want to keep track of your guns, flags, and daughters. (23/6)
The RNC and McCain campaign contacted 30 million voters directly (including with robocalls) before the election. Team Obama contacted 68 million. I guess that kinda explains why this whole election thing turned out the way it did. (Marc Ambinder)
First he chose certifiable idiot Sarah Palin to be his running mate completely out of the blue, then he suspends his campaign the day before the debate when the only thing that had changed since the day before was his poll numbers. Slate asks, what crazy thing will McCain think of next?
1. Returns to Vietnam and jails himself.
2. Offers the post of “vice vice president” to Warren Buffett.
3. Challenges Obama to suspend campaign so they both can go and personally drill for oil offshore.
4. Learns to use computer.
5. Does bombing run over Taliban-controlled tribal areas of Pakistan.
6. Offers to forgo salary, sell one house.
7. Sex-change operation.
8. Suspends campaign until Nov. 4, offers to start being president right now.
9. Sells Alaska to Russia for $700 billion.
10. Pledges to serve only one term. OK, half a term.
They’re apparenty taking suggestions via email. Thoughts?
Fortunately the near-destruction of our economy hasn’t ruined our sense of humor:
I almost missed this email because it was diverted to my spam folder. But apparently Paulson is sending this around:
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson
Also, if you have something you’d like to be bailed out of, submit it to Buy My Shitpile, Henry! After all, what’s a couple more bucks out of $700 billion.
Just a few months ago, John McCain admitted that he didn’t know how to use a computer. Well, that was back in March, and CrazyDrumGuy has received an exclusive report that, not only does McCain now use a computer, just last week he tried Google for the very first time!
RSS Feed